Before the Mockingjay
by Lachalora
Summary: The history of how Katniss Everdeen came to be.
1. A Cry

Curled up in her bed, blocking out the world around her, Eva lay motionless.

Her once bright blue eyes were lidded lightly, halfway in between sleep and wakefulness. She could faintly hear her daughter's voice in the room across from her, soft and hushed.

Katniss was whispering quietly to Prim in the small bedroom the two girls shared. Even from a distance, Eva could hear the harsh emotion in her eldest daughter's voice, how every word was strained with unshed tears.

Eva longed to go to them, to wrap her arms around them and let them know she still loved them every bit as much as she always had.

As much as she ached to be close to them, Eva couldn't bring herself to get up from her bed. Her limbs felt like lead and her body was heavy with grief.

From across the room, Eva could hear the soft sobs of her youngest daughter.

The fragile cries tore at her at her heart and Eva squeezed her eyes closed tighter, clutching at her chest with her thin, pale hands. She felt as if her heart was being ripped from her chest, so much so, that the pain she was feeling became almost more physical than it was emotional.

Her mouth open in a silent scream, Eva pulled the covers tighter around her shoulders.

There was no cure for her intense heartache, and the only person on earth who could end her sadness was gone forever – leaving behind nothing, not even a body to bury.

Thinking back to the morning before, Eva pictured her husband as he'd been before he left.

His face had been bright and full of happiness as he'd kissed his daughters, holding Prim close as he placed a soft kiss in Katniss' hair. She remembered the intense love in his eyes as he held his girls in his arms; his voice, smooth as silk as he'd helped Eva with the morning dishes, humming a soft melody that filled the room with peace.

She'd never hear his voice again.

The thought brought on a fresh wave of pain and Eva fought the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that threatened to overwhelm her.

Her heart was broken beyond repair, and she'd never be the same again.

As Eva drifted off into sweet oblivion, memories of days past filled her mind. Memories of her first love and how she, Eva, the Town girl had become Mrs. Everdeen.

* * *

><p><strong>Read on and you just might like what you find. Review if you will and let me know what you think!<strong>


	2. A Beginning

The sun was shining.

The fresh spring air around her was cool and crisp, still clinging to winter's frosty chill.

Eva Newhaven titled her face upwards towards the morning sun, feeling the warmth of it on her skin. It was a beautiful morning, and it was a rare occasion that that sunshine was able to break through the gloomy clouds that hovered over District 12.

Taking in a deep breath of fresh air, Eva shifted her books from one arm to the other, extending her right hand out beside her. She looked around; making sure no one was looking before closing her eyes and spinning quickly in a large loopy circle.

The swift motion set her head to spinning and she giggled freely, like a young school girl as she slowed to a stop.

Her father would be horrified to see her behaving in such a way were people could be watching.

"There's no room in this family for shame Eva." He'd say, his voice firm and emotionless.

Just the thought of her stern and stoic father chased away the brief bliss she'd felt a moment before, and Eva shook her head, trying to clear the heavy thoughts from her mind.

Birch Newhaven hadn't always been like that however. He'd always been a quiet man, but once, long ago, he'd smile – he'd laugh. His timid nature could not hide the love he felt for his wife, his children, and once he'd given his love freely to them.

All that had changed ten years before, when quiet tragedy had befallen the family of healers; a deadly disease that had taken the life of the oldest Newhaven child, the only son. The epidemic had started in the Seam and quickly crawled up into Town, claiming dozens of lives that awful summer. The fever claimed both the old and the young, the strong and the weak, the sick and the healthy. Almost no family went untouched by its unclean fingers.

Eva had been young, only six years old, but she could remember the cries of her mother and the gray, grief stricken face of her father. She remembered the brief funeral, and how the Newhaven's had grieved alone, just like every other family in District 12.

Her father had changed that day; moments after his only son took his last breath. And in the days, weeks, months and years that followed it seemed as if he'd buried his heart with his child. He was bitter, cold and calculating.

He never smiled again.

Eva had learned early that her father was the last person she wanted to like; she told herself over and over again that she would never shut herself away from her life. She would not turn away from the living, those she still loved.

She wasn't going to let her father ruin the first real spring day District 12 had had that year.

Smoothing down her wavy blond hair and straightening her rumpled skirt, Eva continued towards District 12's only school, classes would start in a quarter hour, and Eva couldn't afford to be late again.

Unconsciously, Eva picked up her pace, walking just a little bit fast than before.

Along the side of the dusty gravel road, Eva took notice of a small clump of bright pink evening primrose flowers and smiled.

While gloom reminded her of her father, whenever Eva saw the delicate primrose blossom, she was reminded of her mother.

The tiny pink flower resembled Milla Newhaven in beauty and in form. Delicate and lovely, the primrose flower was full of sweetness and pleasing to all who saw it – no one disliked a primrose.

Looking back, Eva remembered it was her mother who'd gently coaxed the flame of life back into the inhabitants of District 12. Although she'd suffered her own, personal loss, she was able to put it behind her for a time and looked to the living – those still hurting. In the months after the epidemic had passed, it was her mother who'd gone door to door – throughout both the Town and the Seam – bringing healing in any way she could.

It was her mother that Eva wished to resemble, not her father.

Shifting her school books in her arms again, Eva was startled from her thoughts as she heard the dull clang of District 12's school building.

Picking up her pace yet again, Eva hurried forward, kicking up pebbles as she ran. She wasn't far from the school when she heard a familiar voice calling out to her.

"Evy!"

Slowing, Eva smiled, turning towards the source of the voice.

Running towards her, blond hair wiping about his face was her best friend.

Wade Mellark.

* * *

><p><strong>If you like it, let me know and review!<strong>


	3. A Song

Dark, grainy rocks crunched under their feet as they walked. Side by side, Eva glanced to her right, noticing how tall Wade was growing. Last summer he'd grown almost seven inches, and standing beside her friend now Eva suddenly felt small.

Wade, noticing her silence, was the first to speak since leaving the schoolhouse.

"What's getting at you Evy, you've been so quiet today – it's not like you."

Eva shrugged, and found herself telling him that nothing was wrong.

She knew he wouldn't believe her; he didn't, but he didn't press her. Instead he did the talking, filling the space between them with warmth as Eva began to feel the tension slip from her.

Shaking her head she smiled at Wade as he went on talking.

"You always know how to cheer me up, don't you Wade Mellark."

Wade just grinned in reply, blushing as he began pointing out the good things that had happened that day. He made sure to carefully leave out the fact that the once beautiful day had turned stormy and that Ebony Hart, a girl in their grade who was particularly spiteful, had been a little more rude than usual that day.

Wade had not always been her friend. They had come to know each other years before, both grieving and broken.

Wade's father, the owner of District 12's small bakery, had died in the same epidemic that had killed Eva's older brother. His mother, Ceely Mellark, had been pregnant at the time with Wade's younger sister Gemma and had been left alone with three other children to care for and the bakery to run. Tragic as it was, Ceely never let her grief get the best of her and quickly began to pick up the pieces. She kept the bakery going, gave birth to her last child, and always managed to keep everything in order. She was strong, one of the strongest people Eva knew.

Eva and Wade met in the worst of places. Eva's brother and Wade's father had died on the same day and in turn were buried on the same day. Several other families had flocked the somber, overcrowded cemetery, also here to bury a loved one. In all the crowd however, it had been Wade that she saw. He'd been young, only six years old – no older than she was – but Eva had watched as his older sisters clung to him and his mother clutched his thin shoulders as if she might fall down.

Later, once they were both in school again Eva had been eating lunch when a shadow fell over her. Looking up, there was Wade, a sugar bun in his extended hand.

"Want to share?" He'd asked that day.

She'd agreed, and they'd been friends ever since; helping each other get on and live life.

They continued their conversation as Eva began to push her troubles to the back of her mind. She lost track of time, and before she knew it, she was standing just a few yards from her front door.

She knew she should go in, her father would need her help today; when she'd left that morning her father had been tending to Old Mrs. Hastack, who'd been complaining of her arthritis.

Eva knew her father could get along without her for a while so before she could change her mind Eva turned quickly, grabbing Wade's arm and heading in the other direction.

"Where are we going Evy, don't you have to be home?"

Laughing him off Eva dropped her books by her back door as Wade did the same.

Taking off quickly, Eva ran off in the direction of the meadow, her skirt whipping around her legs as she ran.

Wade, who'd been just behind her easily made his way to her side as they reached the place where the Town met the Seam. He gave her a questioning glance, his eyebrows raised as if to ask "the Seam?"

Eva just rolled her eyes, sprinting ahead and taking the lead, gasping as Wade quickly caught up with her. Ignoring the glances of the procession of dingy miners heading home after a day's work, Eva ran on.

Before long they reached the meadow and Eva stopped short as she caught her breath, her chest heaving with exertion. Beside her, Wade too was breathing deeply, confusion written across his brow. He didn't wait long to speak.

"Why are we here?" He said, casting a quick glance in my direction.

"Does there have to be a reason?" She replied, still out of breath from running.

Wade shook his head, folding his legs as he sat down in the soft meadow grasses, picking idly at a blade of grass between his two fingers.

"You've been acting a little strange the past few weeks Evy." He said matter-of-factly.

"You've been happy one minute than sad the next, always looking off like you're seeing something no one else sees. You've been distracted and unhappy and… well, I just don't know how to help you."

His eyes were cast down, and he seemed suddenly content to look at nothing but the blade of grass in his hands. She opened her mouth to deny his accusations, but he stopped her quickly.

"Don't try to deny it Evy. Just tell me – what's on your mind. I can't help you unless you tell me."

Eva sighed deeply, letting her legs give way as she collapsed in a heap beside her friend. She let her eyes zone in on a tree far in the distance, beyond the fence that lead to the forbidden forest. She closed her eyes, taking another deep breath as she tried for an instant to picture the meadow home in her mind.

She couldn't.

"I'm tired of this Wade." Said Eva softly, despair creeping into her tone.

"Tired of what?" Was Wade's inevitable reply.

"I'm tired of _this place!_" This time, there was an edge to her voice that she didn't quite like, but she continued anyway.

"I'm tired of District 12, of the Town, of school, of Ebony Hart – of death – of the Hunger Games, of fear…"

Closing her eyes, Eva could feel tears threatening to make an appearance.

"I'm so tired of being afraid, afraid that someone I love will be taken away."

She paused a moment, letting this thought, being spoken aloud for the first time, invade the air as it truly became real.

"Wade," Began Eva slowly.

"Yeah Evy?" He replied slowly, still letting himself digest the reality of the words Eva had spoken.

The silence between them lasted only a few moments, but it was so deep that Eva was sure she could hear the air around her.

"Wade," she began again.

"Do you think… do you think that happiness is impossible – that no one can really be happy forever…"

Eva trailed off again, letting her words fall freely into the open air.

She stole a quick glance at Wade, and saw that his gaze was calm, but intense. She watched as he opened his mouth to speak.

"You know what I think Evy," He said, taking care to make sure the words were the right words.

Reaching across the empty space between him, Eva looked down to see him take her hand in his before looking back to his face.

"I think, that happiness is just what you make it – you can find it anywhere, if you try."

Eva looked away from him, shaking her head softly as a sad smile touched her lips.

"I knew you'd say something like that."

Wade, unsure whether this was good or bad, stood slowly, brushing off his pants as he looked at the sky above him.

"We'd better get back to town, my mother will be looking for me – I was supposed to help with the bakery after school – and I know your parents will be waiting for you too.

Eva nodded sadly, letting Wade pull her to her feet before they both began the walk to town.

They were halfway there, but not yet through the Seam when Wade spoke again.

"I want you to know Evy, that I'm always here for you – I'll always be ther-"

A noise cut him off before he could finish, a sweet heavenly noise that filled Eva's hears and made her heart skip a beat.

Both Eva and Wade turned towards the direction of the street across from them; following the sound with their eyes before quickly found its source.

Pick thrown over his shoulder, mouth open in song, was a boy Eva had never seen before. His hair was black as the coal that coated his clothing and his face, beneath all the soot, was clear and handsome. But even so, Eva found herself drawn to the sound that came out of his mouth.

A ballad; soft and pure, full of love and innocence. The young man's voice flowed effortlessly, flawlessly over the notes, hitting every one perfectly. Eva had never heard anything more beautiful.

He turned suddenly, never faltering in his song once, but their gaze met. His clear grey eyes met her wide blue ones, and Eva caught her breath.

Just as soon as he'd come, he was gone, disappeared around the corner, far from sight. Eva was pulled out of her trance, unaware that she'd stopped walking, as Wade pulled at her arm.

"Evy, we'd better hurry, it's getting late."

She nodded dumbly, following Wade out of the Seam and into town, looking back over her shoulder for another glimpse of the singing boy but finding nothing.

Nothing but the sound of his voice, still echoing softly across the way.


	4. A Longing

Eva winced as the screen door clattered shut behind her, there was no use being discrete now, she was very, very late.

As if on cue her father walked swiftly through the door that separated the Newhaven's house from the apothecary shop. Eva wasn't sure, but she suspected he'd been waiting for her to return – she knew that could be anything but pleasant.

Birch Newhaven was a tall man, one of the tallest around, his head nearly brushing the door post above him from where he stood under it as he leaned against its frame. His arms were crossed, and while he was certainly tall, his frame was far too lean to appear threatening. His hair, once an ashy blonde, was now flecked with white and graying at the temples above cold blue eyes.

Eva stiffened at his icy gaze, bracing her feet on the floor as if expecting an attack. She waited.

"Where have you been?" Her father said quickly, not an ounce of feeling in his voice – not even anger.

His emotionlessness set her on edge as she sought out a reply that wouldn't further aggravate him.

"I'm sorry, I was with Wade – we just lost track of time…"

Eva's voice trailed off slowly and she hoped her plan had worked. Normally her father would excuse her as long as she told him she'd been with Wade. She knew her father liked Wade, maybe even more than he did her.

She also knew, that like half of the people in Town, both her parents were expecting her and Wade to get married. The idea itself was ridiculous, and had formed in the gossip squares throughout District 12.

While she loved Wade dearly, she didn't love him like that – he was like the brother she lost – nothing more.

Her plan worked and while her father reminded her not to be late again, Eva sighed in relief.

Silently, without another word, Eva followed her father into his apothecary shop.

Just like she'd earlier suspected, Mrs. Hastack was sitting in the patient chair, and once she saw Eva and her father, began chattering away aimlessly as Mr. Newhaven nodded here and there to let her know he was listening.

Eva took her place in the back of the room, close to the stove as she readied a large pot to boil and sterilize her father's equipment. This was a task she performed every day, whether her father used a tool or not. She'd been told time and time again that this was not the business for error, and the equipment was to be clean at all times.

Trying to block out Mrs. Hastack's incessant chattering, Eva set the water to boil before taking a seat at the table where it sat wedged against the far wall. Taking note of the herbs that lay scattered across the table, she judged that her mother had been to the Meadow that day as well.

Several different kinds of healing herbs were arranged in clumps over the large wooden table and Eva quickly recognized each one as she saw it. Her mother had been the daughter of a florist and knew the name and uses for every plant that grew in District 12.

Years ago, when Milla Underhill had married Birch Newhaven, she'd brought her knowledge of plants and healing herbs to his apothecary business and he'd been using them ever since.

Her father bent easily under her mother's gentle guidance, and while she by no means was the head of the household, she could easily persuade her husband with just a gentle word. In fact, it often seemed that Mrs. Newhaven was the only person in the world who could really get through to Eva's father. She could make emotion and feeling return to his eyes when no one else could. Sometimes Eva watched her father when her parents were together; she watched as the ice in his face melted when he was near her mother and once, when no one was looking, Eva had watched as his eyes were once again filled with love – so much so that the faintest hint of a smile had graced his face.

Eva longed to see him look at her with anything but that blank mask he wore so often. And she longed one day – more than anything – to have a man look at her like her father looked at her mother.

Suddenly, her mother was there beside her, her soft hands resting gently on Eva's shoulders. She looked up, smiling as she met her mother's gaze.

A loud, gurgling sound filled her ears as she suddenly remembered the pot of water on the stove. She was on her feet in an instant, her mother at her side, as she quickly brought the pot to the counter, fanning away the steam with a towel.

Her father looked over his should, looking somewhat annoyed as he helped Mrs. Hastack up and led her to the door, tucking a prescription in her hands. As soon as the lady was out the door he turned in Eva's direction.

"Eva!" He said sourly, speaking with more emotion than he had all day.

Eva opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out, instead, her mother came to her aid.

"It's my fault dear," She began calmly, and we both knew this was a lie.

"I distracted her when I walked in."

My father's gaze softened and he sighed deeply, running a hand over his face.

"She knows how hard these instruments are to come by Milla, she knows better."

Somehow his reference to her as if she wasn't even there irked Eva even more, but she bit her tongue.

"Don't worry Birch, she'll make sure it doesn't happen again," Her mother stated, giving Eva a look that said 'you'd better be careful' before continuing.

"Won't you Eva?"

I nodded quickly, finding my voice.

"No ma'am – I promise, it won't happen again."

My mother smiled, but my father's eyes remained unfeeling, nodding curtly before striding through the door as he headed to tally the day's earnings.

The rest of the evening was very quiet, almost painfully quiet.

Most nights were like this, but for some unknown reason Eva was affected more than ever by the uncomfortable silence. She sat with both of her parents at their small dinner table – her father at one end, her mother at the other, and Eva in the middle.

Just like every other day, the empty seat on the other side of the table screamed through the silence and Eva noted how her father never looked directly at that empty chair, and neither did her mother. But Eva, who could hardly remember the days when that chair had been filled, found her eyes glued to it – wondering how much different life would be if it had never been vacant in the first place.

On more than one occasion Eva had been a guest at the Mellark household, and had observed the loud, happy meals that the family enjoyed together. They too had suffered a grave loss, and yet still, every one of them looked at the world with bright and happy eyes – only seeing the good in it.

It was what Eva loved most about them – what she loved most about Wade.

The solemn evening meal was over shortly, and after the table had been cleared and the dishes cleaned Eva kissed both of her parents goodnight and promptly retreated to her room.

The wooden steps creaked and groaned beneath her feet as Eva climbed the steep stairs to her bedroom. It was a small, modest room – just a bed in the far corner, a bedside table and a dresser on the opposite wall.

The room's only window overlooked the Seam of all places, as the Newhaven's home located on the near the street that separated the Town from the Seam.

Some nights Eva would sit on the seat she'd placed under the window, looking out over the Seam and the hilly forests that lay beyond. No one was allowed in those woods, and a long electric fence kept those of District 12 from venturing beyond the Meadow and into the woods.

Eva had always harbored a certain fear for those deep dark woods and had not once even dared go near the fence, but that night she was suddenly filled with a deep curiosity of what lay beyond the fence.

Quickly, before she could change her mind, Eva pushed the window open before sliding down the side trellis. As soon as her feet hit the ground she was off, running once again, through the Seam and into the Meadow.

As she ran, Eva wondered what it was that had given her this sudden burst of courage. Maybe it was just a whim, but maybe, just maybe it was something more than that. And maybe somewhere beyond those woods was the place that she'd dreamed of.

She came to a sudden stop, her eyes large in the moonlight, taking in the long fence that stretched out before her. One step at a time she inched closer and closer, reaching out her hand and listening for the hum of electricity.

There was none.

Eva took hold of the wire with one hand, lowering her head to duck under it when suddenly a voice behind her made her jump, cutting her hand the wire barbs.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Eva turned sharply, and found herself looking up into the face of the gray eyed boy with the silver tongue.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you all are happy with this chapter - as always, please review!<strong>


	5. A Meeting

The silence between them was as thick as the forest.

Eva stood like a statue, her mouth hanging open in surprise as she stared at the tall figure looming over her.

His hair was as dark as the midnight sky and his face was illuminated by the soft beams of the moon. His eyes, just as enchanting as she remembered, looked straight into Eva's. Her tongue was dry, and she felt that familiar feeling of being at a loss for words.

"You're bleeding you know." Said the boy, or, more appropriately, the man.

Eva had been so taken up that she hadn't even noticed the warm, sticky liquid that was dripping from her fingers. Glancing down at her hand, she felt her head swim at the sight of the blood – she could bandage wounds and cauterize gashes, but when it came to her own blood Eva couldn't explain the wooziness that always came over her.

She felt the boy's gaze on her and looked up shakily, she could feel her knees going weak and she wasn't sure if it was from the blood or the fact that her heart leaped in her throat whenever he spoke.

"Miss, are you okay?" The question in his tone shook her into action.

Eva nodded her head, suddenly finding her voice.

"I-I'm fine – just a scratch."

Flicking her wrist to clear away some of the blood, Eva sifted her eyes from the boy's face back to her bleeding hand. The cut was deep, and Eva chided herself for being so careless. When she finally lifted her gaze, she saw that the boy remained unmoving, eyeing her with slightly suspicious eyes, and maybe even with a hit of amusement.

"You sure you're okay?" He repeated.

A half grin, so faint she almost missed it in the darkness, splayed across his lips. Yes, she was sure he found her predicament amusing, and that made Eva feel even more foolish. She wondered how she must appear to him; surely she looked like nothing more than a silly and curious Town girl – maybe that's what she was.

Eva was thankful for the shadows that his the flaming of her cheeks.

Courage gone and spirit deflated, Eva took a step away from the fence, intent on heading home when the sight of something hanging over the boy's shoulder caught her gaze.

It was dark, and it was hard to tell, but Eva was sure she'd seen whatever it was before. A long wooden rod, curved to form a C shape, drawn together with a length of wire. Over his other shoulder, hung another mysterious object. This one looked like some sort of pouch, and within the pouch were several narrow shafts tipped with bird feathers. Eva remembered the item from pictures in her school books.

It was a weapon; it was a bow and a sheath of arrows.

Eva wasn't sure whether to be curious or frightened – here was a boy carrying a lethal weapon at his side without even a hint of remorse on his face. And while weapons were something that was almost never seen in District 12 (unless in the possession of Peacekeepers) this boy did not look like a killer to her. Even so, Eva couldn't help but wonder what he used them for.

The boy, still standing where she'd first seen him, stiffened as her eyes registered his bow and arrows. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes narrowed.

"You shouldn't be here you know, it's dangerous for a Town girl like you."

Eva suddenly felt defensive, and realized that she didn't want to be enemies with this boy; she didn't want him to distrust her.

"It's alright," Said Eva, holding up her hand.

"You don't have to worry, I won't tell anyone about your bow…"

The boy's eyes remained guarded, but his stance relaxed somewhat.

"You going to be alright?" He said, nodding to her hand.

Eva nodded.

"My father is District 12's finest apothecary – I think I'll live."

The boy seemed satisfied with her answer and turned to walk away when Eva remembered she couldn't use any of her father's supplies to bandage her wound. He took daily inventory and he'd quickly realize that she'd used his supplies without permission. She'd have to explain how she'd hurt herself – and why.

Eva couldn't let that happen.

"Wait!" She blurted out.

The boy turned again, a question playing out in his eyes.

"I-I don't want to disturb my parents… maybe, maybe would you have something I could bandage my hand with?"

The boy sighed softly, nodding.

"C'mon," He said. "I have some old rags back at my place you can use."

Eva didn't ask any questions, not even stopping to question his invitation to his home before following him quickly back towards the Seam.

The boy's pace was a brisk one, and Eva found herself almost having to jog to keep pace with him.

She stayed behind him, following him into the dark streets of the Seam. Not a single light was on. Several clouds overhead suddenly blocked out the moon's light, burring the District in darkness. Eva felt a chill make its way down her spine; she'd only ever been to the Seam in daylight, and even then, the desolate, murky streets set her hair on end. Before, she'd always been running, or that afternoon – with Wade. The Seam was a dangerous place; it was something every Town person knew.

They hadn't been walking very long when the boy pulled her aside and stopped in front of a small, dark shanty on the side of the road. Modest was too elaborate a word to use on the small dwelling. Old paint peeled from the house's siding, one of the front windows was cracked down the middle and even from a distance, the house smelled of must and rotting wood.

Eva couldn't imagine what it must have been like to grow up calling that place home.

Eva was drawn from her thoughts as she felt the boy's eyes on her, she knew he must have caught her expression and once again she felt the heat of shame on her cheeks.

The boy however, ignored her staring and put a finger to his lips, gesturing her to wait where she was.

He slipped silently into the house, with the stealth of a ghost. He was only gone a minute when he returned with a strip of blue fabric in his hands. The cloth was worn and thin, but Eva noted that at least it was clean.

The boy bit down on a corner of it, tearing it slightly before ripping it into two long, thin strips. Then carefully, gently, he took her cut hand in his own and bound it tight, stopping the flow of blood.

Eva couldn't help but stare at his face as he wound the cloth around her hand, and she felt a slight tingling in her hand where he touched it. She swallowed with a little difficulty, forcing herself to drag her eyes away from his perfect face – she was sure she'd never seen anyone more handsome in all her life.

"That should do it." Whispered the boy as he knotted the cloth over her palm.

Eva nodded quickly and smiled at him.

"Thanks."

The boy nodded as well, his eyes darting from Eva, to the ground and back again.

They stood there, both unable to move or speak for a moment before Eva found her tongue.

"I'm Eva." She whispered as clearly as she could with her heart in her throat.

"Phoenix." The boy replied.

Just then, Eva caught a glimpse of the sky in the distance. It was dark, but the moon was sinking and just above the trees, she saw that the sky was lightening – morning was coming.

She needed to get home quickly.

"Thank you Phoenix." She said once more before turning towards town and running as fast as she could.

* * *

><p><strong>So what do you think? Do you like how the story is going so far? Review and let me know.<strong>


	6. A Fear

The days that followed the midnight meeting were some of the longest of Eva's life.

Try as she might, she couldn't get the singing boy out of her mind.

Phoenix was his name.

Eva ran the name over and over in her mind; somehow it seemed like the perfect name for the silver eyed Seam boy. The was a strength about him, in the way he walked and the way he held himself – a sort of triumphant look about him – not like the other Seam men whose shoulders sagged in defeat. There was something different about Phoenix Everdeen – as she'd learned his proper name was – something she just couldn't wrap her mind around.

No matter what she tried Eva's curiosity about this boy would not subside. Being as discreet and a subtle as possible, she'd slowly been learning things about him she'd never even cared to know before.

He was three years older than she, a man – no longer a boy – of nineteen years. He had no brothers or sisters and no real family to speak of except for his father, an aging old man more attached to alcohol than his own son.

She knew he worked in the mines, that much was certain; and she knew he had a voice as rare as gold and as beautiful as the dawn.

As the days wore on, she found that not only did she care for this Seam boy, but she wanted to see him again – she ached to. And while her father paid no heed to her sudden change in disposition and her mother just smiled and ignored it; Wade however had both noticed it and mentioned it on several occasions.

The change in her was not so evident that just anyone could see it – only those who knew her best were able to sense the difference. Not even Rosemary or Maysilee had noticed – to them she was still the same Eva she'd always been.

Deep down though, Eva knew that somehow she wasn't the same girl anymore – something had changed that night she met Phoenix and as silly as it seemed, Eva knew she wanted to explore these feelings. She wanted a chance for _something_ with Phoenix.

"Maybe it's too much," thought Eva, a heaviness weighing her down as reality crept in.

"We can't be together, there's too much between us, and even if there wasn't… what if he doesn't love me back."

Eva sighed heavily as she sat underneath the gnarled apple tree that stood, rooted along the side of the Newhaven house.

Laying back in the grass she stretched out her arms above her head, her fingers idly pulling at blades of green. Above her Eva could see the clouds swirling above through the sparse leaves of the apple tree. She suddenly found herself wondering what it would be like to be up in the clouds – so high up that your worries and your troubles couldn't follow you. She closed her eyes, listening to the soft breeze above her and the voices of people in the distance, going about their day paying no attention to her.

Her eyes had only been closed a few moments when Wade's voice broke through the stillness.

"Hard at work?" He questioned, a hint of mockery in his tone.

Eva opened her eyes and sat up suddenly, remembering that she'd declined to spend the afternoon with him in the bakery because of homework. Her cheeks reddened with the shame of the lie, not just to anyone, but to her best friend.

Luckily, Wade didn't seem to mind too much and grinned slightly before stretching out beside Eva in the grass.

"I've been looking for this friend of mine," he said after a moment.

"She's about so tall with blond hair and blue eyes – her name's Evy Newhaven – I don't suppose you've seen her have you?"

Smiling at his joke Eva pulled her knees up to her chest, hiding her eyes from Wade's gaze. She could tell he was looking at her. She felt vulnerable, like if she looked him in the eyes he would know everything, like he might be able to see right into her soul.

"Oh Wade." She said, rolling her eyes and giving his ear a quick flick, like she always did when he teased her.

"Where've you been Evy, you haven't been yourself the last few days – if something's wrong, I'd like it if you told me, like you always do."

Resting her chin on her knees, Eva suddenly had an urge to do just what he'd said, to tell him everything like she always did, but something was holding her back.

"I've just been thinking is all." She said lamely.

Wade raised his eyebrows.

"What about?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Eva sought for an answer he'd believe without telling him the truth.

"I'm just – I'm just worried about this year's Games is all."

She let her words sink in a moment before, letting her true fear of the Games reach her face, aiding her story.

She felt Wade's arm over her shoulder and she leaned into him, grateful that one thing hadn't changed even over all these years.

"I know you're scared Evy, I am too – we all are. I don't think there's a single person in District 12 that _isn't _afraid of the Games."

He paused a moment before continuing.

"But you don't have to worry, the odds are in your favor and I swear, I'd never let _anything _happen to you."

He didn't speak again, but instead his arm tightened around her shoulder as Eva hugged his waist.

Suddenly Eva felt guilt creeping up on her. Not only had she lied again, but Wade had been speaking his heart, truly hoping to console her fears – and when he'd spoken, she'd heard something in his voice she'd never heard before.

It startled her and confused her at the same time, but she couldn't put her finger on what _it _was.

But she had a feeling that it wasn't just friendly affection.

* * *

><p>Later that night Eva sat at the kitchen table.<p>

She'd been sitting alone there for almost an hour and had forgotten that she wasn't alone in the house until she heard her parent's voices, strained, talking in hushed tones in the other room. Eva put down her pencil, craning her neck towards their voices as they continued talking.

She could just make out their words, sharp and clipped, she'd never heard her parents talking this way before.

Pushing her homework aside, Eva crept up from her place at the table, inching her way across the floor towards the door that separated the kitchen from the parlor.

"I've told you countless times Milla, I'll not be treating Seam folk – you know that!"

Eva's mother's voice answered him, as serious as she'd ever heard it.

"You can't turn your back on them Birch – you know you can't – you must know! Deep down inside I know you understand if they can't come to you they can't go to anybody – they'll die Birch – you know it's the truth!"

"If that's the truth then so be it, but I'll not risk another epidemic."

There was a pause and then Eva's mother spoke again.

"I know it hurts Birch… I still cry sometimes… I miss him too. He was my son too."

Eva heard her mother's shaky sigh, and her heart hurt for her – for both her parents. It wasn't long before Mrs. Newhaven had collected herself enough to continue.

"Darling," She said, her voice full of love and pleading.

"You need to stop and think, you need to remember – that sick child you turned away – that was someone's child. That child will die and then there will just be another mother out there crying, another father who has to bury his son. Is that what you want?"

Eva peeked past the door from the shadows, just in time to see her father's face soften, for only a moment before turning to ice once more. He took a step back, leaving his wife standing alone as he spoke.

"What happens happens Milla, and I will have nothing to do with the Seam – better it be their child than mine."

And with that he turned and walked up the stairs into the darkness, leaving Eva's mother behind and Eva with a feeling of hopelessness in her chest.

* * *

><p><strong>Gosh, sorry there was such a long break in between chapters - I was sorting out where I wanted this story to go in my mind. I'd like to know what you all think of the characters so far - what do you think of Eva, Wade, Phoenix and Mr. and Mrs. Newhaven? Anything you'd like to suggest or question? As always, I'd love some reviews! Thanks! <strong>


	7. A Suspicion

"Eva!"

Eva turned around, squinting her eyes as she tried to place the owner of the voice that had called out to her. Shading her eyes with her hand, Eva spotted not one, but two girls running towards her.

Both girls were golden haired and pretty – almost completely identical in appearance; the only difference between the two was the small brown birthmark just above the elder's right eye. Rosemary and Maysilee Donner had been Eva's good friends and companions ever since they'd started school and Eva smiled brightly at the sight of them.

Eva stopped, waiting as the girls ran forward, Maysilee just ahead of her sister.

"Where on earth have you been Eva," Maysilee said as the two girls came to a halt beside their friend.

"I feel like it's been ages since we've seen you outside of school."

Eva nodded her head sadly, feeling guilty once again as she realized she'd been neglecting the few good friends she had while caught up in her anxieties over Phoenix and her father's hate of the Seam.

It had been several days, and both her parents still went about their time in silence; her father plagued by mournful memories and her mother in respect for her father. Their house had been a quiet place as of late, almost as quiet as it had been in the early days after the burial of her brother. Walking through the silent halls were a constant torment to Eva and she welcomed any chance to be free of the melancholy dwelling.

"I know, Maysilee, I know – I hope you'll forgive me though – I've just been so busy lately."

Another lie, it seemed as if Eva couldn't escape them these days.

Rosemary reached out then, placing her hand on Eva's arm.

"We know Eva, we don't hold it against you, we just miss you."

"Yeah," said Maysilee, chiming in again. "Can you imagine what it's like to be cooped up with the same person all the time, I needed a bit of fresh air."

Rosemary rolled her eyes, nudging her sister playfully with her shoulder.

"You love me and you know it." Said Rosemary.

Eva laughed; she was glad to be with her friends again as they started walking back in the direction of their homes.

They hadn't gotten very far, all three girls chattering aimlessly about homework and boys as they walked, before they passed a section in District 12 where the Seam and the Town intersected briefly. The twins took no notice and continued to chatter away, but Eva's eyes scanned the opposite street, holding her breath as she did.

She quickly found what she was looking for.

Today of all days, the mines had let out early and a thin line of men was already plodding slowly towards their homes. Eva searched the faces, finding it difficult to tell man from boy in all the coal dust.

She'd just about given up when a faint tune caught her ears. Eva eyes sought out its singer, and she quickly spotted Phoenix among them. He was whistling, not singing, but the sound was still one of the most beautiful sounds that Eva had ever heard.

She was so caught up in the tune that she almost didn't realize he was looking straight back at her, a smile behind his eyes.

Eva froze then, inside she was flying above the clouds but outside she was terrified and elated at the same time – he remembered her.

He winked then and Eva began to melt, finally responding enough to return his smile with one of her own. He tipped his helmet to her, and then he was gone, having melded into the sea of coal miners.

Her hesitation had not gone unnoticed however; both Rosemary and Maysilee had stopped as well, staring at Eva. It was Maysilee who spoke first. Always the braver of the twins, Maysilee was hardly ever timid about speaking her mind.

"Eva," she began.

"Eva, who was that?"

Eva's mind scrambled, searching for an explanation. While she loves both girls equally, Maysilee and Eva had always been closer somehow, and Eva knew she needed to choose her words wisely or her friend would see right through her.

Eva decided to tell the truth, just leave some of the truth out.

"Oh, he's just a boy I ran into a while back."

Rosemary remained silent, but Maysilee continued to question Eva's story.

"He's a Seam boy Eva, how do you "just run into" a _Seam boy_?"

Eva felt a stab of defensiveness shoot through her.

"What's wrong with a Seam boy Maysilee, don't talk about him like he has the plague!"

Maysilee held her hands up in defense.

"It's not like that Eva and you know it – I don't have anything against the Seam, but I can't help but wonder, how did you happen to run into him while in Town – I've never seen him before."

Maysilee had a point, and Eva knew now that there was no going back; she'd all but uncovered her secret.

"I-I…" Eva stuttered, unsure if she wanted go any further.

"I was in the Seam alright – I ran into him in the Meadow behind the Seam – there! Happy now, I sneak off to the Seam when I think no one will miss me!"

Eva folded her arms across her chest, she was already beginning to feel regret for the way she'd yelled at Maysilee. It seemed like Eva was making a mess of everything.

Rosemary's arm was on Eva's again.

"You know Maysilee didn't mean anything Eva, I'm sorry you're upset…"

Rosemary's voice trailed off as her eyes fell to the brown earth beneath their feet. For a moment, no one said anything.

"I'm sorry Eva, I just don't want you to get hurt." Maysilee's voice was sincere and Eva could tell she meant every word.

Eva threw her arm around both of her friends, pulling Maysilee's head to her own, giving her temple a quick kiss.

"You both know I could never stay mad at either of you for long," Eva began.

"Don't worry, really, I can take care of myself – and the Seam isn't like that – it's not all that dangerous. I think people just say that to keep us Town kids out of there."

Rosemary sighed in relief, glad that the conflict was over, but there was still a faint light of suspicion in Maysilee's eyes – like she felt that there was something more to what Eva was telling them.

The girls walked on, and Eva hoped that by tomorrow they could forget about the whole thing. It wasn't long before they parted ways, Eva going in one direction and the twins going in the other.

Deep inside, Eva knew that Maysilee knew more than she said, and if she didn't bring it up soon, she'd just bring it up later. It was only a matter of time. There were just some things that another girl would understand, better than even Wade could – this, Eva thought, was one of those things.

* * *

><p>Late that night as Eva lay in bed, she muddled over the happenings of what had gone on, both physically and mentally, since she'd first met Phoenix. Eva was so confused, she couldn't make sense of anything and she knew the only way she could ever find out was she went to the Seam again.<p>

She needed to see him again, to talk to him – she wanted to learn, to get to know him better, and to see if what she felt already for him was the same that he felt for her.

It was a huge risk, and Eva blanched at what the consequences of her actions might be.

Phoenix might laugh her off – maybe he didn't care for her. She couldn't blame him, after all, they didn't even know each other. She couldn't explain why it was that already, she felt such a deep connection to him. Maybe it was girlish hormones, but maybe it was fate – maybe they were destined to be together.

For just a second, Eva puzzled over what that could mean. If she was to pursue a future with Phoenix, it would be to leave her whole life behind. She knew already that her father would in no way approve of his daughter – his only child – marrying a boy from the very place he despised. What would people say about her?

Eva chose to push the thoughts of gloom into the back of her mind. She was overthinking everything – these feelings she had were driving her insane.

Yanking the covers over her head, Eva turned restlessly in her bed.

The air outside was warmer every day, signaling the end of a hard winter, but not necessarily bringing life. With every day, danger drew closer for the children of Panam. Summer would bring warmth, but also death – the Games. Just one more thing to add to Eva's growing list of worries.

She wasn't going to think about that now. Wade, Rosemary and Maysilee were as good as safe – they'd never taken tessera in their lives. And Phoenix, at nineteen, he'd never have to fear the Games again. The Games had never harmed her or anyone she cared about in the past – this year wouldn't be any different.

* * *

><p><strong>I want to thank those of you who are reviewing and send a shout out to Antha32 and KumoFuzei! You guys have been great!<strong>

**Here's another chapter, I've got some big plans for this story - I hope you all are interested! Let me know if you ever have any suggestions.**


	8. A Spill

Eva bounced down the steps of the Granary, munching on a handful of salted sunflower seeds.

Under one arm she clutched the parcel that held the week's grain and flour and under the other was a basket containing fresh baked goods from the Mellark bakery, a carton of skim milk and fresh greens from the grocer. Like everything else, District 12 was given whatever no one else wanted, such as skim milk and wilting vegetables.

Everyone knew that the best of the best always went straight to the Capitol.

Eva didn't mind too much; after all, she always had whatever she really needed, and she'd never known a life other than the one she lived. She'd never tasted delicacies or experienced finery, she didn't know what she was missing, and it was best that way.

She popped another sunflower seed into her mouth as she walked on, heading to the butcher's for one last stop before heading home.

It wasn't far, as before long Eva was walking up the butcher's front steps, glancing through the large front window as she approached.

Looking inside, she caught a glimpse of Eben Jaxin, the butcher's son, tangled in the arms of a young girl. Eva couldn't see her face from behind, and she felt her cheeks flush as she realized she'd just caught them in a rather compromising situation.

She turned to leave, already thinking of an excuse to tell her father for coming home without any meat.

"Hello?" Eben called out, his voice rasping and husky.

Eva froze and turned hesitantly in her tracks, calling back weakly to him.

"It's just me Eben, my father sent me for the groceries and I'm stopping by for some cold cuts."

Eben appeared at the door then, gesturing her inside as he combed back his hair with his hands, unable to hide the blush of shame that was coloring his cheeks.

As Eva stepped inside she noticed the girl he'd been with was her age, and in her class at school. Mara West was one of the prettiest girls Eva knew and it was rare that she walked home from school alone; there was always some boy willing to accompany her.

"Hello Eva," she greeted; no friendliness in her voice, just annoyance.

Eva nodded in response, turning her gave then to Eben who stood behind the shop counter, scurrying around, looking for his apron and hairnet.

"Just the usual please Eben."

Eben nodded furiously, heading to the back room to retrieve Eva's order, leaving Eva and Mara in the front room alone.

Eva kept her eyes on her hands, glancing nervously over at Mara who stood, leaning against the counter as she tried to tidy her tangled, chestnut hair. Mara looked over at Eva, her eyes narrowing and Eva's gaze quickly flickered back to her hands, picking idly at her finger nails.

Mara had always made her nervous, and Eva couldn't think of a single person in District 12 that she'd least like to be left alone with other than Mara West.

Mara was an orphan. She'd been taken in by her grandparent's years before after her parents had died in the same epidemic that Eva's brother had succumbed to. Just like Eva's father, Mara hated the Seam. Mara's grandmother had died the year before and Eva guessed that from the number of times her father had been to see Mara's grandfather in the past few months that his time on earth was soon coming to an end. Eva almost felt bad for Mara; her life was lonely, no wonder she looked to so many boys to fill her emptiness.

"So," said Mara, breaking the uncomfortable silence with her disdainful tone.

"I hear you and Wade are pretty friendly, are you two an item?"

Eva was stunned, her mouth opening to protest when Mara spoke again.

"Oh come on Eva, don't try and deny it, we can all tell you're together."

"No!" Eva sputtered, suddenly annoyed that someone had finally said it out loud.

It was one thing for people to gossip about her and Wade behind closed doors, but it was an entirely different thing when they came right out and said it to Eva's face. She wasn't sure quite how to respond.

"We're just friends, we've been friends since we were children – that's all."

She hoped Mara would leave it at that, but Mara pressed on.

"Just curious is all; don't get so uptight, I'm just taking an interest in my cousin's wellbeing."

It dawned on her then that she'd forgotten Mara and Wade were distant cousins, separated by several generations. It wasn't surprising, almost everyone in District 12 was related to each other on one level or another, and even marriages between distant relatives wasn't uncommon.

Eva didn't dignify Mara with an answer, choosing to ignore her comment. Craning her neck to glance into the back room, Eva wished that Eben would return soon.

Her wish was granted, and Eva sighed in relief, paying him quickly for the cold cuts before scurrying out the door and bounding down the steps as fast as she could go.

She was so focused on getting as far away from Mara as she could that she didn't watch were she was going. One moment she was running down the street, and the next she was sprawled on her face, groceries scattered around her.

The fall had knocked the wind out of her, and when a hand grabbed her arm, gently pulling her to her feet, Eva found she was having even more trouble catching her breath.

Gasping, Eva pushed her mussed hair out of her wide, startled eyes as she realized she was looking up into the face of none other than Phoenix Everdeen.

"Are you alright?" His face was full of surprise, but as he looked at her, a slow smile crept onto his features.

"It's you!"

Eva found herself nodding, once again unable to form words – everything she'd wanted to say was suddenly robbed from her mind.

Phoenix bent over then, grabbing her basket in one hand and filling it with its spilled contents with the other. Eva crouched down next to him, grabbing a handful of vegetables and the bag of cold cuts, all the while scrambling for something to say to him.

"I'm very sorry," said Phoenix. "But I think your milk is history."

Eva looked down at the ground, standing up as she noticed the shattered glass bottle and the white liquid seeping into the brown earth beneath her.

"It's alright," she finally said.

"It's not the end of the world I guess."

He was still smiling, and Eva noted the way his entire face lit up as he handed the brown wicker basket back to her.

She accepted it; giving him a smile in return that she hoped was as wonderful as his own.

"I'd been wondering if I was going to see you around sometime – clumsy girl like you, you left quite an impression on me."

Eva caught the grin in his voice, and blushed slightly as he teased her.

"You sure you're alright?" He question, the smile leaving his face and being replaced by a slight frown.

She nodded quickly, laughing, hoping to dispel his concern.

"I'm alright, really, after all, being as clumsy as you say I am, I'm used to these kinds of falls."

He laughed then, and Eva couldn't help but think that his laugh was almost more wonderful a sound than his voice.

"I wish I could repay you for the milk." He said, handing her the last slightly bruised tomato.

"No, don't be silly, it was just an accident, and I should have been watching where I was going."

Phoenix shrugged.

"Fair enough," he said good naturedly, pausing for a moment before continuing.

"Could I - I mean, would you mind if I walked you home?"

Eva nodded, maybe a little too quickly and smiled once again.

"Of course."

Taking her basket from her, Phoenix and Eva started out, walking in the direction of her house.

"I didn't think I'd see you again you know." Phoenix said.

"I didn't either." Eva responded.

After the initial shock of meeting Phoenix in the street had worn off, Eva was shocked at how freely they conversed. All her nervousness was falling away, and after only a few moments, she felt like she'd known him for years; she didn't even think of what her father might say if he saw the two fof them together. She found herself wondering suddenly if he felt the same way.

"You know Eva, you really did surprise me out there in the Meadow that night – what where you doing out there."

There was no accusation in his tone and Eva found it easy just to tell him the truth, no lies, no half-truths – it was liberating.

"I just like to get away sometimes – clear my head."

Never once did he question her, and as they walked on, unconsciously taking the more secluded paths, Eva found herself falling more and more for this Seam boy every second.

They talked of little things, not of school or home or the mines or even the Games; little things, like how beautiful the weather had been this year and how Eva had always loved the sight of the delicate evening primrose flower.

Phoenix was easygoing and charming, so unquestionably good, that when he asked her to meet him in the Meadow that night, Eva immediately accepted.

They parted ways then, just before coming upon her house, and as she watched him run off towards the market, Eva found that she couldn't even try to hide the smile that was spreading brightly across her face.

"He remembered me." She whispered softly.

And turning slowly, hope filling up her soul, Eva walked dreamily up the steps and into her home.

* * *

><p><strong>So, she's finally getting to know the singing boy - what do you think, any guesses about where the story will go? If any of you have read my other HG story, you may have recognized Mara... Anyway, let me know what you think!<strong>


	9. A Connection

A soft, haunting breeze floated through the dark, empty Meadow – not a soul in sight.

It was late, and as the clock ticked, the night deepened, casting dark, looming shadows across District 12. There was almost no noise; nothing except the swishing of grass in the warm, early summer wind. Eva was beginning to wonder if she was too late; maybe Phoenix had already come and gone, maybe he hadn't waited for her.

Although the night was warm, Eva felt the hair on her arms stand on end; she felt so exposed, standing alone in the desolate field.

She decided to move closer towards the fence, closer towards where she'd first met Phoenix – maybe he was already waiting for her there.

She didn't have to walk far, and before long she was standing beside the tall barbed fence, directly beneath a large, drooping walnut tree.

"Psst."

The unexpected sound made Eva jump and she turned sharply towards where she'd thought she'd hear the noise, but the plains behind her where still empty. There was no one there.

"Hey, Eva – up here!" Came a sharp whisper.

Eva looked up into the branches of the walnut tree and sure enough, several feet above her was Phoenix, perched there like a bird.

"Get up!" He called down to her, still keeping his voice just above a whisper.

Eva remained motionless, still confused as why Phoenix was sitting in a tree; she was about to ask him when he reached down to her, extending his hand in her direction.

"Don't ask, just climb!"

There was an urgency to his voice that dispelled all doubts she had, and although she was still confused, she took his hand.

After several moments of difficulty and several scraped elbows, Eva was up in the tree beside Phoenix, clutching his arm for dear life while trying to maintain her balance.

"What are we doing up –" She began, but was startled when Phoenix placed his finger over her lips, letting her know that words could wait for later.

He pointed then, out into the Meadow and suddenly, Eva knew exactly what he was talking about.

Out in the field, waving a flashlight around, was none other than the new head peacekeeper, Cray.

Eva froze then, afraid even to breath for fear she might give herself, and Phoenix, away. Cray was still several hundred yards away, but the sight of him made Eva's stomach clench. She's been out past curfew several times before, but she'd never even considered the possibility of being caught. She'd always just assumed she wouldn't be, but now she wasn't so sure; and sitting there, high in a tree that stretched over the fence – if they were caught Eva was sure the punishment would be severe.

She'd only seen Cray a handful of time since he'd begun working as a peacekeeper, and he and his men usually stayed in the Seam, and around the Hob – that's where everyone said they were needed.

He was young, and he couldn't have been much older than Phoenix. He was from the Capitol, and had been assigned to District 12, everyone assumed, as a punishment. He'd only been in charge for a few months, but his overly zealous attitude in respect to his job had everyone – even the Town people – on edge. It couldn't last too long, after all, every other peacekeeper assigned to District 12 eventually eased up on rules and regulations – and the last had slowly descended into alcoholism.

High up in the walnut tree, Eva watched as Cray drew nearer and nearer, and she found herself wondering why he'd decided to search the Meadow – tonight of all nights.

After what seemed like an eternity Cray turned after coming within almost twenty years from their tree, and headed back into the Seam, flicking off his flashlight and disappearing into the night.

Eva let out a breath then that she hadn't even known she was holding, letting go of Phoenix's arm.

Beside her, Phoenix motioned for her to stay quiet, and she watched him as he listened, his ears straining for any hint that Cray might still be watching. When he seemed sure that all was clear, he relaxed, as much as anyone could relax in a tree and Eva noticed the ease and comfort in Phoenix's body as he sat there. She knew than that climbing must not be as new to him as it was to her – he seemed, almost at home.

"We can climb down now." He said, this time, not whispering.

With the ease and grace of a bird he jumped down from the tree, a good twelve foot drop from Eva's perspective. Once he was safe on the ground he looked up, holding his arms out to Eva.

"Jump down – don't worry, I wouldn't drop _you_."

Eva couldn't help but smile cautiously at his boldness, but remained where she was on the branch, suddenly feeling very helpless without Phoenix to cling to. She looked below her, eyeing the ground with a skeptical gaze.

"Are you sure you can catch me?" She asked, a slight tremor to her voice.

Phoenix laughed softly, and Eva felt shudders run through her at the sound.

"Of course I can, wouldn't even be hard."

Eva couldn't resist his lopsided grin, shaking her head and laughing with him, albeit somewhat nervously.

"I'll catch you Eva." He said then, a sudden seriousness in his tone.

All laughter and cockiness gone; Eva could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted her to trust him.

It was what she wanted to, and without another thought, Eva jumped, the short fall sending her heart into her throat.

After only a fraction of a second, she landed safely in Phoenix's arms, a feeling Eva found that she loved.

For a moment, they stood there; eyes locked, and Eva's arms around Phoenix's neck before he lowered her gently down the ground.

Eva couldn't breathe and her heart was beating so loudly she swore Phoenix could hear it.

"See? I caught you, that wasn't so bad was it?"

Eva shook her head.

"No, it wasn't half as bad as I thought it'd be."

Phoenix grabbed Eva's hand then, pulling her away from the fence, out into a stop in the Meadow where several large boulders lay – three of them, side by side. They formed a small space, hidden from view to sit in. There was no covering over their heads, and as Eva sat down beside Phoenix, she looked up and the entire night sky stretched out above them – it looked almost like a blanket of brilliantly bright stars.

There in the deepness of night the pair talked. Phoenix asking Eva questions, and her likewise, both leaning back, looking up at the sky. As they talked Eva felt like Phoenix took her into his world – and she began to realize just how different they were.

It was crazy.

She was from Town, he from the Seam; he was dark and she was fair; he was bold and talkative, and she was milder and quiet – but still, she felt like she could open up and talk with him. She could share her feelings freely after only knowing him for a few short days.

After a few hours, she felt like they knew each other, almost in the same way she and Wade did. He was kind, and he listened; he could pull her feelings out of her just like Wade could – something that had taken Wade years to learn how to do, Phoenix had learned in minutes.

She'd never felt such a deep connection to anyone in her entire life, and it was easy flowing and genuine.

The hours seemed to fly by, and before she knew it, Phoenix was telling her that the sun was peaking over the trees and morning was coming.

She stood quickly, but stayed where she was – she knew she needed to go, but she wished that somehow she could stay there in the Meadow, just her and Phoenix, forever.

"I should go." She said.

Phoenix nodded, nodding his head towards the Seam.

"I should too." He said.

For a moment, neither one said a word, but they looked each other in the eyes, each thinking the same thing. It was Phoenix however, that said it first.

"I'd like to see you again."

Eva nodded eagerly, her wavy blond hair falling into her eyes as she did.

"Me too."

"Friday night," said Phoenix. "Meet me here, as soon as you can get away."

"I will!" Eva said, turning and walking back towards her home.

The light around them grew stronger every minute, and Eva wished she could hold on to that moment forever.

"I won't forget!" She called over her shoulder as she began to run towards Town.

As the sun continued to rise, Eva felt hopeful for the first time.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm really getting into this story, so I hope you all like it. It's hard for me to motivate myself to write when I'm not getting feeback, but I'm determined to finish - I may need some encouagement though ;) Thanks to all of you who've reviewed so far! You're awesome! Let me know how you liked this chapter!<strong>


	10. A Quell

The next few days passed by in a dream-like haze.

Every night, whether or not they'd planned it, Eva and Phoenix met in the Meadow.

The high she got, the excitement that came from being with Phoenix was enough to make her forget the lack of sleep that was creeping up on her or the fact that the Reaping was quickly approaching.

As the days flew by Eva found that a new boldness was creeping up on her, so much so that she didn't even care if people saw them together. And as Eva walked briskly towards the Meadow on that bright June morning, she felt fearless. There was nothing that could dislodge the giddy joy she was feeling, not even the Reaping. In just a few hours, she'd be standing in the Square, waiting to hear the names of the tributes chosen for the Second Quarter Quell.

For the first time in her life, Eva wasn't worried, she wasn't afraid of what she might hear – all she could think of was Phoenix and the life she dreamed they might have together.

She needed to see him before then, and so she didn't think – she just did.

He was waiting for her, in the same place he always was, and immediately Eva felt a smile stretching across her face. He was standing with his back to her and he turned when he heard her coming, but the look on his face was one Eva hadn't expected to see.

Phoenix's face was pale and drawn, his brow was furrowed and his lips were pursed tightly together in a frown.

"Phoenix?"

Eva quickly crossed the distance between them, and placing her hand on his taut, muscled arm.

"What's wrong?" She asked, concern written across her face as she looked up into his eyes, trying to read them.

"The Games."

Grabbing his shirt sleeve, Eva pulled him down, so they sat across each other in the grass. Taking Phoenix's hand in her own, she stroked her thumb over his knuckles and she could see the way the hair on his arms stood up on end when she did.

Phoenix's eyes were downcast, and the way his jaw shifted slowly back and forth, she could tell he was struggling to keep his emotion reigned in.

"Look at me Phoenix," Eva said, lifting his chin slightly with her thumb and forefinger.

He did, and it hurt Eva to see the pain locked away in those eyes. She wanted to take that pain away, but there was something haunting in his gaze and Eva felt a chill run down her spine; something in his face made Eva afraid, but she didn't know what it was.

She willed strength into her voice, thinking of how she'd heard her mother speak to her father sometimes when she consoled and encouraged him.

"Everything's going to be fine – the odds are in my favor – they always have been."

There was no haughtiness in her tone, and what she said was not a vent of arrogance, but of plain truth.

Eva was a Town girl; the odds had always been in her favor.

But sometimes even the best of odds could take a turn for the worse.

She simply chose not to think about it, not to let it consume her.

Phoenix broke the silence then, his voice had regained its natural calm, and Eva felt some security return – when Phoenix was strong, she could be too.

"I know it Eva, but even so… being from Town doesn't guarantee your safety."

It was so surreal, just a week ago; Eva never would have believed she'd be sitting in the Meadow with Phoenix – that he'd be concerned for her – that he might _love_ her. Now it was happening, and she didn't know what to say.

Instead of speaking, Eva resorted once again to actions, almost throwing herself into Phoenix's arms.

She'd never been so openly affectionate with a boy before – not even Wade – and as Phoenix's arms enveloped her, she felt like there was nothing on earth that could separate them.

"You're all I have Eva," Said Phoenix, his voice slightly muffed by her hair, but ringing clear to Eva's soul, making her heart sing.

His arms wrapped themselves tighter around her before pulling away; their faces were inches apart as Phoenix tenderly brushed aside of stray lock of Eva's hair.

When he spoke again, his voice was husky with emotion.

"You're all I have, and I can't lose you."

Eva's hand crept up to her face, trapping Phoenix's were it rested against her skin. She wanted more than anything to kiss him – to feel his lips pressed against her own.

Everything was happening so fast; Eva's mind told her to pull back, she'd only known him a few weeks; but her heart told her to lean in. She loved him, and now she knew that he loved her back.

Phoenix pulled her head to his, their foreheads touching, and Eva could feel his warm breath on her closed eyelids.

"I need to make sure you're safe," Phoenix whispered.

He paused a moment.

"I need you to know that I – I love you."

As death and doom loomed above the head of countless children that day, all Eva could think about where those three little words – those words that had changed everything.

"I love you too Phoenix."

The words were so soft, so breathy that Eva herself almost didn't hear them. She knew Phoenix had, because only a few seconds later their lips met.

The kiss was soft and tender – brief, but lingering – full of innocence and love. It was Eva's first kiss, and she was glad she'd saved it.

It lasted only a few seconds, but the sweetness of it remained on her lips long after they parted.

The two of them sat there together, silent, wrapped in each other's arms as the morning shadows grew and noon approached. It was Phoenix who separated them, standing and taking Eva's hand as he helped her to her feet.

"I want to walk you to the square." He said, and his voice, his face, was back to normal again – Eva could tell he was trying to be strong for her.

Eva wanted him to, more than anything she wanted to walk with Phoenix into town – she wanted to see the astonished faces and hear their whispers of scandal. She couldn't care less.

The face of her father appeared in her mind, and suddenly Eva wasn't so sure anymore – she knew her father would be in the square with the rest of the parents, and although she was fearless when it came to District 12's gossiping wives, she was petrified of what her father might say, or what he might do.

Phoenix must have noticed her hesitation, because he spoke up then, his head down.

"Not yet?" He said, unable to hide his disappointment.

Eva nodded sadly.

"My father." She said, and Phoenix nodded in reply, he needed no further explanation.

Phoenix walked her to the edge of the Meadow, and when they parted, Eva let her fingers linger in his.

"I'll be waiting for you – you'll make it." Phoenix said.

They parted then, and Eva heard the bell in the Justice Building clang at quarter to noon.

Just fifteen minutes.

* * *

><p>Eva rushed to the square, tidying her hair and brushing off her skirt as she went.<p>

She found her mother just outside the girl's gate, she'd been waiting for her, but she didn't question Eva's whereabouts, and Eva was grateful. Hugging her mother quickly, Eva hesitantly took her place with the other girls her age.

Scooting along through the crowd, she quickly found both Rosemary and Maysilee; the two of them standing side by side as usual.

Rosemary's face was pensive, and she clutched tightly to Maysilee's arm at her side. Maysilee stood, with her arm around her sister's shoulders protectively. Her face lost some of its frown as Eva greeted them.

"I'm glad you're here Eva, Rosie's not feeling the best today."

Eva came to a stop alongside the twins, squeezing Maysilee's hand before taking her place on Rosemary's opposite side and wrapping her arm around her friend's shaking shoulder. Rosemary's face was pale and snow, and her lips quivered slightly in nervous anticipation and fear.

"Don't worry Rose; it's going to be alright." She said to the shaking girl.

Eva and Maysilee shared a glance; they both knew how much Rosemary feared the Reaping.

Several minutes passed, and before long, the entire square was filled with the children and parents of District 12. Eva found her gaze lingering over the twelve year old section, and remembered the sick knot in her stomach during her first Reaping. She prayed that none of them would be chosen.

Across the way from them, Eva caught Wade's gaze and he smiled at her, holding up crossed fingers. Eva tried to imagine how she would go on if he was reaped.

She couldn't.

The anthem began, and Eva was only half aware during the routine speech about the glory and honor of the Hunger Games, but, like everyone else, listened closely to the announcement of how this year's tributes would be chosen.

This year, the number of deaths were to be doubled – as if twenty three children slaughtered was not enough. Four tributes from each District – double the chances of being selected. Eva felt the icy fist of dread take hold of her body.

As Orpha Windom pulled the first name from the Reaping bowl. The first girl was about to be chosen.

"Mena Holden!"

Eva let out a breath of relief and felt a pang of guilt hit her in the chest as she watched the fourteen year old Seam girl take the stage – even from a distance, Eva could see she was shaking like a leaf in the wind. From behind her, she could hear the girl's parents cry out – it was as if she'd died already.

Her relief was short lived however as Orpha once again reached into the girls' Reaping ball, fishing around slowly – obviously going for dramatic effect – before pulling out the next slip of paper. She unfolded it slowly, before reading aloud for all to hear.

"Maysilee Donner!"

In those next few seconds, it was almost like Eva was underwater – her vision was blurred and her hearing warbled as she felt Maysilee slowly detach herself from her sister.

She felt her friend grab her hand and place it over Rosemary's before walking towards the stage. She could feel Rosemary cling to her, and she could hear the faint sobs that passed through the girl's lips. Her eyes locked straight ahead, silent tears running over her cheeks, Eva watched as Maysilee climbed the stage steps – her face calm and resigned as she looked out over the crowd.

Yes, the odds had been in Eva's favor that day, but they hadn't been in Maysilee's.

Eva was so overwhelmed with sorrow, that she didn't even hear the names of the boy tributes, but focused all her attention into comforting her friend sobbing in her arms.

The anthem rolled on, and slowly those lucky enough to survive the Reaping filled through the ropes and headed home, where they were bound to celebrate their good fortune.

Eva knew no such celebration was in store for her that night.

* * *

><p><strong>So it begins, the end of sappy and touchy-feely. Sorry I had to breeze through the beginning of the romance - more will come, it needed to be done. Who's still with me? What do you guys think will happen next, what do you <em>want<em> to happen next? How did you like my lastest chapter? I have a feeling this is going to be a long story; should I break it up into parts or keep it as one whole? Thanks! **


	11. A Goodbye

Eva was barely aware as she shuffled along, her black and polished shoes quickly becoming dusty and coated in dirt.

Her arms wrapped around Rosemary, Eva led her friend towards the Justice building, where the Donner family is waiting for them. Eva could hear Rosemary sobbing, no longer silent in her grief but unashamedly open. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks, and everything around her seems miles away.

As they near the gate, Eva looked up, her bleary eyes catching sight of Willamae Donner, Rosemary and Maysilee's mother. The woman's shoulders where shaking with sobs, but her arms were open and Eva registered as Rosemary was pulled from her side and taken into her mother's arms. Beside them, standing drooped and defeated – like one of the miners – was Dusk Donner, the girl's father. One arm was wrapped around his wife's shoulders and the other around his daughter; Eva could tell he was trying to be strong for them, but his eyes betrayed his grief.

They were the image of a devastated family, and it was almost too much for Eva to bear.

For a moment, she thought back to that cold February morning when her brother had died. Her parents had looked like this broken and defeated.

She remembered running into her brother's room – she'd been going to see him – but he'd already been taken away. His room was empty and he never returned. He'd been taken for them forever.

Eva could feel her heart breaking, hoping against hope that this would be the fate of the Donner's as well.

Mr. Donner placed a hand on his shoulder, his eyes saying what he couldn't say as he pulled Eva into their small circle and she was enveloped in their arms.

In those moments, and the moments after as they climbed the stairs to the Justice building, Eva forgot that her parents were would be expecting her behind the fence or that Phoenix was waiting for her. In those moments, all she thought of was Maysilee.

The Donner's went in to see her first, leaving Eva alone in the cold and empty hallway.

Guilt plagued her as she stood there, searching for something she could say to her friend. She'd been so self-consumed, and so focused on herself and what she wanted, that she'd ignored her friends. Not just Maysilee, but Rosemary and Wade also.

Maybe now she'd never have a chance to make it up to her.

Eva could feel the tears burning in the back of her eyes, biting hard on the inside of her check, determined not to cry and to let Maysilee know she was there for her.

It may be the last, and the only thing she _could_ do.

After many long minutes the Donners emerged, and the sight that greeted Eva startled her.

In her father's arms, Rosemary sobbed, louder than Eva had ever heard; her face was white and snow and her eyes were red, swelling with rivers of tears. Her father's face was ashen and blank, but his red-rimmed eyes told tales of his deep emotion. Mrs. Donner brought up the rear, her eyes hollow, and soft, moaning sounds escaping her lips.

Eva almost couldn't look at them, and as she watched them go a fresh stab of pain hit her broadly in the chest. She almost couldn't move forward as a peacekeeper behind her pushed her through the door to the visiting room.

Inside, Maysilee sat crumpled on a cushioned bench; she was bent over, with her head resting in her hands.

Eva stood, and it felt like her insides were slowly being ripped apart as she struggled to form words.

"Mays?" She questioned timidly, he voice was weak and trembling, hoarse with emotion – it sounded foreign to her.

Maysilee's head shot up and her eyes were bright with unshed tears. She stood, her hands shaking and rushed towards Eva.

Eva crossed the small space between them, crushing her friend in her arms, the two girls clinging fiercely to each other.

"Eva!" Maysilee sobbed dryly. "Oh Eva – Rosie – oh she's… I couldn't stand it…"

Her voice trailed off then, her shoulder shaking as they held each other. Eva could feel fresh tears coursing down her cheeks, and was surprised that she still had tears left to cry.

They stayed together for several minutes before Eva felt Maysilee take a deep, shuddering breath in an attempt to compose herself. Pulling away from Eva, Maysilee took a step back, her breathing harsh and unsteady.

"What's done is done right?" She said slowly, "I can't change it – you know, I might as well make the best of it."

Eva shook her head, pursing her lips together in anger.

"You shouldn't _have_ to Maysilee! It's not right!"

The strength in her voice surprised her, and Eva was shocked to find that her grief had given her a passionate anger.

Her voice softened then, as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"It's not right…"

Maysilee nodded, taking her friends hand in her own, her lower lip quivering.

"I know Eva." Said Maysilee, pausing for a moment before continuing.

"Who knows, maybe one day… maybe one day this will all be just a bad memory – maybe one day… things will change."

Eva wrapped her arms around her friend.

"You need to try." She said.

Maysilee nodded slowly, hesitantly, pulling something from her pocket.

In her palm was a small golden pin, delicately crafted to form a mockingjay with an arrow flying by it, encircled in ruddy gold.

Eva looked up at her friend as Maysilee placed the pin in Eva's own hand.

"I'll try Eva, but I need you to know that you'll give this to Rosie if… if anything happens – I've watched the Games before… I know what this could mean."

Eva's eyes filled with tears again at the tremble in Maysilee's voice.

Shaking her head, Eva pushed the pin back at her friend, but Maysilee wouldn't let her, closing Eva's fist around it.

"I need you to do this for me Eva – please."

The pleading in Maysilee voice broke her, but Eva kept the pin in her palm.

"I will." She said softly.

The two girls sat there together, fingers entwined as Eva spoke again.

"I should have done something – I should have volun – " Maysilee stopped her.

"I would have hated you for it – I'm glad you didn't."

Maysilee was smiling sadly, but Eva couldn't force herself to do the same.

"I-I'm sorry Mays, I've been a terrible friend to you lately – I wish I could go back, I wish I could make it up to you."

Maysilee shook her head; bring her gaze to meet Eva's.

"You've never been a bad friend – and when I needed you the most – look where you were, where you _are_. You were right by my side – you always were."

The two girls held each other again, one last time as the peacekeeper called Eva out.

Standing up, Eva slowly pulled herself away from her friend.

"I love you Eva!" Maysilee called as the peacekeeper pulled Eva from the room.

Struggling for another second with her friend, Eva touched three fingers to her lips before pointing them out to Maysilee.

"I love you too – I promise – I'll never forget you!"

Eva caught one last look at her friend, standing there alone, her hair loose around her shoulders and her eyes tearstained, wishing for another minute with her.

And then the door slammed shut, leaving Eva standing alone in the hallway.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope those of you who have been reading this story like how it's going so far! I had it all planned out, but as I've been going along I've changed a thing or two. Let me know if you guys have any ideas of stories you might like to see me write - I'd love to hear them! Let me know what you all think of this chapter! Thanks!<strong>

**Also: I welcome constructive critisism. Bring it on if you see something that needs fixing!**


	12. A Hurt

As the days passed by Eva felt like a cloud was hanging over her, consuming any light it found in her life.

Eva watched numbly, her eyes staring blankly ahead as she stood in the Square with the rest of District 12 as the Opening Ceremony began.

She hadn't seen Phoenix since the Reaping, and couldn't bring herself to go to him. She didn't want to think of the carefree attitude she'd possessed several days before, or the deep shame she'd felt in the days following. But most of all, she didn't want Phoenix to try and tell her that everything would be okay, like she knew he would.

Because it wouldn't be okay – Maysilee would never be okay again, even if she happened to survive the nightmare she was about to enter.

So she'd locked herself away from the world; away from her father's coldness and her mother's concerned eyes; away from Rosemary's, who had taken to her bed in the days that followed the Reaping, unable to cope; away from Wade, who only wanted to help her and who came by once a day to make sure Eva was alright.

Away from Phoenix, the man she loved; and of all the hurts, this was one of the most painful.

As she stood there, lost in her own world of sorrows, Eva felt someone brush her shoulder, turning mechanically to face Wade at her side.

His face was pained and concerned, his hand on her shoulder as he spoke to her.

"You alright?"

Although Eva wasn't sure how much farther she could be from alright, she nodded and she felt Wade's arm wrap around her thin shoulders.

"Don't worry," He said. "I'll be right here, I won't leave."

Eva looked at him gratefully, leaning her weary head on his shoulder as the anthem began, speeches were made and the first of the tributes appeared at the beginning of the parade route.

As the four tributes of District 1 appeared, Eva almost couldn't hear as the cheers from the Capitol blotted out all other noise. The four tributes were dressed in bold, black and red jumpsuits. The tightfitting garments were form fitting and smooth, boasting of their wearer's strength and power, finery written in every stitch. The tributes were tall and strong, fierceness in their faces, and already, each one was dripping with confidence; as if they thought they'd won before the Games had even begun.

As District 2's tributes appeared Eva found herself counting in her head the number of Career tributes alone that would be heading into the arena. Twelve, twice the number as the previous year – even greater chances of death for the tributes of District 12.

With every passing second Eva felt her hope diminish – how could Maysilee have a chance against such odds – it was too much.

Her heart in her throat, Eva watched as District after District presented their tributes, noting the apparent strengths and weakness of each – her head spinning with the sheer number of children who would ultimately be murdered.

Eva stepped forward, her eyes searching the screen as District 12 came into view.

There was Maysilee, staring blankly at the crowd as she went. The four tributes were dressed in a dark blue, loose fitting garment made to look like a miner's uniform. On their heads were bright, shiny yellow mining helmets and in their hands were the crude pick axes – the faces of each were set in a deep frown, one of doom and impending death.

Eva didn't recognize the other tributes, all from the Seam; but she noted the cold, hard gaze of the tallest boy tribute. He stood closest to Maysilee, his eyes were cold and emotionless, and she could see that he was gripping the pick ax in his hand with a firm, white-knuckled grip.

Just as soon as they'd come, the tributes disappeared and Eva sunk down to the ground, the reality of what was about to happen to her friend sinking in icily in her chest.

Maysilee was a tribute in the 50th Hunger Games, The Quarter Quell. She was there in the Capitol, it was real now – Eva could see her there on the screen.

Death was creeping closer and closer.

No tears left to cry, Eva sat where she was crumpled on the ground, Wade's arms still around her as the Opening ceremony came to an end.

"I'm so sorry Evy." Wade whispered in her ear.

Biting her lip, Eva shook her head.

"It's not your fault, you couldn't do anything about it."

Wade's arms tightened around her, his hand rubbing up in down her arms.

"I wish I could help you Evy, I wish I could help you somehow – I know you must be hurting."

Eva got shakily to her feet, Wade helping her as she stood.

"You can't do anything Wade. No one can."

He didn't question her; he knew she was speaking the truth, but instead slowly began to lead her home as the people of District 12 began to make their way from the Square.

Eva followed as Wade guided her through the swarms of people, gripping the hand that wasn't around her shoulder.

Eva shuddered then, squeezing her eyes shut as a single tear slipped from her closed eyes and running down the length of her cheek.

Wade noticed, and once they were away from the many eyes on the Square he drew her aside, pulling her into his arms, her head tucked underneath his chin.

Eva was grateful for the feeling of security he gave her, the steadiness she knew when she was with him. She let out a long, deep breath, full of the week's anxieties and settled against the warmth of his chest.

Wade rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"You want to talk about it – you know you can, I'll listen." Said Wade then, breaking the pleasant silence.

Eva wasn't sure what she could say.

One of her oldest and dearest friends was destined to die a heartless and murderous death; Eva would be forced to watched, just like everyone else on Panam. She wasn't sure if there were words that could capture what she was feeling inside. Too many feelings, so much confusion – she wouldn't know where to begin.

Tucked away in the familiar safety of Wade's arms, she suddenly had the urge to tell him everything – about her feelings towards the games, her dreams of a life beyond Town – even about Phoenix.

Instead, she chose to keep it as simple as she knew how in troubled times.

"There's just so much, so much is happening all at once…"

Wade listened, hanging on her every word, his arms still wrapped around her.

"And Maysilee…." Her voice trailed off.

"I-I've lost her, and… somehow, I know she's not coming back."

The harsh finality in her words pierced her core, sending waves of pain through her chest. From the very beginning these has been her fears, but she'd only now spoken them aloud.

"Don't think like that Evy."

Eva pushed away from Wade then, anger crawling through her as she stepped back from him.

"Why shouldn't I Wade – tell me why? In a world as horrible as this one, why should I look at the bright side, what should I hope for? In a world like this, the odds are _never_ in _anyone's_ favor… they never have been."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Eva turned away from him, fighting to keep another burst of tears from escaping her.

She felt Wade's hand on her shoulder, warm and heavy, as he made her face him.

"Eva," He said, his pet name for her vanishing in his seriousness. "Can't you hear what you sound like?"

His words took her aback, and her mouth opened as if in reply, but no sound came from her. She knew who Wade was referring to, and the mere thought made her blood run cold.

She sounded just like her father.

Eva's shoulders slumped in exhaustion, the week's emotions and lack of sleep finally taking their toll on her. Covering her face with her hands, Eva shook her head back and forth.

"I'm sorry Wade, I didn't mean to snap at you… I'm just, I'm just so messed up right now."

Wade nodded, his eyes deep with sympathy.

"I don't blame you Evy, trust me, you're the last person I'd blame."

Eva smiled sadly at him, trying to replace the frown that hadn't left her face in days.

"It's late," she said fondly. "How about walking me home?"

She nudged Wade's shoulder with her home, wiping the tear tracks with her fingers as Wade wrapped his arm around her shoulder and the two of them began their long walk home.

They'd only walked a few steps, when movement from her left caught Eva's eye in the fading evening light.

Just over twenty yards away, Eva saw Phoenix Everdeen round the corner.

He'd obviously seen Eva with Wade, and he was watching them, hurt written across his features as Wade continued to lead her home, his arm still wrapped around her shoulder.

Eva opened her mouth to call out to him, but for the second time that day, no words would come, and instead she let Wade lead her away, her eyes never leaving the gaze of the Seam boy she'd fallen in love with.

She wondered for a split second what he must be thinking before she and Wade rounded the corner and Phoenix was lost from sight.

* * *

><p><strong>So how was it? PLEASE! Let me know what you think of this chapter - it will only take a second, and be as nit-picky as you please!<strong> **I also want to thanks those of you who are reviewing; it means so much, and really help me keep writing - thanks!**

**This story had just undergone alot of revising, and an added prolouge - sorry for the **inconvenience for those of you who thought this was a new chapter. ****


	13. A Search

Pushing and shoving, Eva clawed her way through the thickening crowd in the Square.

The tribute interviews would be playing live in less than half an hour, but it wasn't the interviews that Eva had one her mind. Scanning the crowd, searching every face in view, Eva was desperately trying to find Phoenix.

It'd been almost a week since they'd spoken and days since they'd last seen each other. The hurt look that had filled Phoenix's eyes sent a pit of dread into Eva's stomach.

Since they'd last locked eyes, Eva had driven herself mad wondering what Phoenix could possibly be thinking, searching for a way to meet him and ease the doubts she feared were leaping through his mind. Since that dark and gloomy night, Eva had been to the Meadow looking for him, but only an empty field had met her there. She'd even tried going to his home, but during the Games both the Seam and the Town were watched more closely than usual by the peacekeepers, and Eva couldn't risk being caught there. What Phoenix seen had only been one friend comforting another, but how could he possibly know that?

Standing up on her toes, Eva craned her neck, wishing for a higher ground to search from.

She turned from one direction to the other, the hushed chatter of hundreds of people filling her ears. Eva listened closely, hoping against hope to hear the one voice she was desperate for.

She never did.

He was one voice among hundreds, and she was more disoriented than before.

She heard the clock in the Justice Tower clang, signaling that only fifteen minutes remained until the broadcast began.

She needed to find Phoenix quickly.

Pushing herself to the edge of the massive crowd, Eva stepped up on top of a concrete block that was holding the rope fences in place. This slight elevation only added another few feet to her height, but Eva took advantage of it, pushing herself up, looking over the heads of the crowd.

Squinting her eyes, Eva spotted a tall dark head standing to the far left rear of the crowd.

She didn't even have to think, but jumped down immediately, skirting along the outside fence towards the dark haired boy in the crowd.

She reached him in a matter of seconds, running to him and calling out his name. When she reached him, she grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face her, her heart sinking when theirs eyes met.

The boy that looked back at her was a stranger.

She opened her mouth to apologize but the boy spoke first.

"Do I know you?" He said, his eyebrows raised slightly.

His looks were those of a typical Seam boy; olive skin and dark hair, silver-gray eyes. The boy's voice croaked slightly and Eva could tell he was halfway in between being a boy and being a man; he was tall, but rail thin, and suddenly Eva saw something in his face that she too remembered.

When she didn't answer the boy nodded towards the screen.

"You look like her, the second girl tribute from 12."

This statement took Eva by surprise, and Eva could feel it registering in her face.

"W-we were good friends." She said then, recovered her voice. "You – you look familiar – have we met?"

The boy shook his head then, his eyes flicking down the ground before coming back to meet Eva's own.

"My brother, Haymitch, he's a tribute too – people tell me all the time that we look alike."

The boys eyes darted back down to the ground, and Eva could see the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes and her heart ached for this boy.

"I'm sorry." Whispered Eva, she didn't know what else she could say.

The boy sniffed, clearing his throat and straightening up.

"Don't worry about it, Haymitch can take care of himself."

Eva nodded, and there was a brief moment of silence between the two, covered by the buzzing of the crowd around them.

"I'm sorry," Eva began. "But have you seen a boy named Phoenix Everdeen around here – I-I've been looking for him."

The boy smiled then and nodded and Eva felt hope return to her.

"I've seen him, we walked from the Seam together… he knew my brother see… but I don't know where he is now."

The screen flickered in front of them and Eva knew the interviews were about to begin. Reaching out, she grabbed the boy's arm, squeezing it slightly.

"Thank you…" She said, trailing off, hoping he'd finish for her.

"Flint," he said, smiling sadly. "My name's Flint."

"Thank You Flint." Eva finished sincerely, smiling briefly to the boy before turning and heading back into the crowd.

The anthem filled her ears then, blaring through the speakers and into the Square.

Making her way to the far back of the crowd, Eva sat in a corner, pulling her knees up against her chest, a million thoughts swirling through her head.

As President Snow took the stage, Eva ignored the words that came out of his mouth; she was thinking of her parents, of Wade, Maysilee and Rosemary – their parents – Mara West and Ebony Hart, Ceely Mellark, precious little Gemma Mellark. She thought of Flint and Haymitch, she thought of every parent who'd ever lost a child to the Games, who _would _lose children. She thought of Phoenix.

It was one of the first times that Eva found herself considering more than her own well-being, but also for the wellbeing of those around her.

She was not the only person who'd life had been damaged by the Games – hundreds – thousands around her were suffering as well. Millions.

As the first tribute from one sat down next to Cesar Flickerman, Eva was unaware.

Fresh, warm tears slipped down her cheeks, splashing on where her fists rested atop her knees.

So much death. So little joy.

How had life come to _this_.

How had people allowed times like these to fall and for evil to consume everything.

Coving her wet face with her hands, Eva wished away doom that was Panam. She found herself wondering how people could force themselves on every day, knowing that even if they themselves escaped the Games their children, and their children's children would die at the hands of the Capitol.

It made her sick.

Tribute after tribute made their way to the stage, but Eva paid no notice as tears continued to stream down her cheeks. When the anthem started up again, signaling the end of the night's broadcast, Eva looked up suddenly, realizing she'd missed Maysilee's interview, guilt washing over her once again.

Holding her heavy head in her hands, Eva wondered if there would ever be an end to these dark days and if she might live to see them.

She wondered if she even wanted to, she wondered if the pain was worth it.

She felt a large hand close over her own and brought her tear stained face up, her red and swollen eyes looking into a pair of soft silver.

Eva felt her lips quiver at the sight of his face, smiling sadly back at her.

"I'm here Eva." He said, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll always be here."

"I'm sorry Phoenix." She sobbed out as Phoenix reached over and pulled her to his chest.

"Shhh, it's alright, you don't need to explain – I've got you."

Pulling away from Phoenix, Eva struggled to swallow her overwhelming emotion as Phoenix gently wiped away the tears that trailed down her face.

"Wade, he, he's like my brother Phoenix. I just want you to kn-"

Phoenix stopped her, shaking his head.

"Don't, it doesn't matter – I missed you, I was jealous. It doesn't matter anymore."

As the crowd thinned out around them and people stopped to stare, Eva didn't even notice, her eyes locked with Phoenix's.

She knew then how people could go on living, even if hope was scarce. Looking into Phoenix's eyes it all made sense.

Life was worth living – not matter how hard – as long as you had someone to love.

And they had each other.

* * *

><p><strong>As always, let me know what you think - really. And much thanks to all of you who are reading and reviewing!<strong>


End file.
